I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize