if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Randomize
