Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
