Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
