the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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