i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
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