Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Randomize
