Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
