Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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