# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Randomize
