yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
