Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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