Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
