I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Randomize
