He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Found your dick twin last night
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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