Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
