I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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