Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
