she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Randomize
