Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I am available for nakedness
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
