I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
