Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Randomize
