lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
My bed smells like the plague
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
