I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
