Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize