I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
