she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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