i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
