I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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