Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize