in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
My Sexting was not on an AP level
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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