so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
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