Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
