Where did you get a picture of my penis
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
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