Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
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