yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
