His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
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