I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
