Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
My vagina just clenched in fear
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
