even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Randomize
