Do vagina's smell?
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Randomize