If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
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