i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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