you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
