Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize