hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
not ubering you a puppy
Randomize
