Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize