Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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