K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
