nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
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