soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Randomize
