im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
Randomize
