if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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