I think I just saw someone hide a body.
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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