he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
My cat gives me a boner
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
