Last Night in Oregon (971)

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• (971): View more from Oregon

  this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word

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• (971): View more from Oregon

  :O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"

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• (971): View more from Oregon

  He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.

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• (971): View more from Oregon

  eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them

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• (971): View more from Oregon

  I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.

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• (971): View more from Oregon

  I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.

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• (971): View more from Oregon

  Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?

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• (971): View more from Oregon

  I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity

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• (971): View more from Oregon

  You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.

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• (971): View more from Oregon

  He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.

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• (971): View more from Oregon

  the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?

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• (971): View more from Oregon

  I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.

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• (971): View more from Oregon

  Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.

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• (971): View more from Oregon

  I have two black x marks on my hands.

  (503): View more from Oregon

  Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'

  (971): View more from Oregon

  damnit I wish I could remember that.

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