Texts From Last Night · DMod's Favorites

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DMod's Favorites Texts:

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(510): View more from California

He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.

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(760): View more from California

You did not just play the dead husband card again.

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(541): View more from Oregon

You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.

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(732): View more from New Jersey

i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."

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(606): View more from Kentucky

how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.

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(304): View more from West Virginia

Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for

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