Texts From Last Night · Malleck's Favorites

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Malleck's Favorites Texts:

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(919): View more from North Carolina

Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.

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(979): View more from Texas

I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after

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(410): View more from Maryland

guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.

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(316): View more from Kansas

This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.

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