Texts From Last Night · YourAlcoholicMom's Favorites

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YourAlcoholicMom's Favorites Texts:

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(949): View more from California

Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?

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(941): View more from Florida

Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won

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(269): View more from Michigan

I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch

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(845): View more from New York

She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.

(1-845): View more from New York

she is way to in-touch with her childhood

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(979): View more from Texas

I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after

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(614): View more from Ohio

Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.

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