Texts From Last Night · bmn3934's Favorites

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bmn3934's Favorites Texts:

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.

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(773): View more from Illinois

Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well

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(205): View more from Alabama

This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.

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(334): View more from Alabama

I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.

(1-334): View more from Alabama

Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.

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(253): View more from Washington

drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA

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(318): View more from Louisiana

Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".

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(360): View more from Washington

My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.

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(805): View more from California

You are such a cockblock sometimes

(661): View more from California

You NEED a cockblock sometimes

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