Texts From Last Night · caylamaureen's Favorites

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caylamaureen's Favorites Texts:

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(651): View more from Minnesota

And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.

Fav 7 1639 856
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(408): View more from California

I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete

Fav 9 3184 982
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(774): View more from Massachusetts

I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.

Fav 27 5086 1307
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(785): View more from Kansas

if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.

Fav 31 1163 5046
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(480): View more from Arizona

I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.

Fav 5 1432 954
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(631): View more from New York

he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan

Fav 19 2216 1183
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(360): View more from Washington

I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.

Fav 2 1401 652
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(651): View more from Minnesota

2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people

(763): View more from Minnesota

and u failed math?

Fav 20 3223 1026
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